I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
