You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
