glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
