ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
