Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
