Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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