Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
