there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
