I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
