haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
