you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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