i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
