If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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