Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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