Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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