Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
