What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
