my room smells like sperm. sweet.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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