Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
