I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize