AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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