I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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