And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
