i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Randomize
