i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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