the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize