Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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