Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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