I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
