I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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