is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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