Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
