the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
