she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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