Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
