That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
