Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
