So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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