How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
