so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
