He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize