I think my fart just growled at me.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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