U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize