He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
