Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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