I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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