Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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