I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
