The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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