the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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