Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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