She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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