I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
