I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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