Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
