I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
