Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
