We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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