maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
