I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
