i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize