Your face is a jimmy john
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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