But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
