Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
