Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I need to calm my uterus...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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